A Hilariously Scary Scenario

A quarter million Chinese troops are currently stationed just across our borders in Mexico and Canada, poised for a takeover. But fear not, secret Trump loyalists within the U.S. military are aware of this nefarious plot and will put a quick end to it.

That’s just the beginning of a wacko clandestine "report" making the rounds in Loony Tune America. An old friend—I’ll call him Ted—sent the copy of the report to a select group, which I guess I still qualify for. Now mind you, for months, Ted and his wife echoed Trump’s crazy claims that COVID-19 was a hoax—until the nasty little virus wiggled its way into their elderly bodies. Ted became quite sick but recovered in mostly good health. His wife spent months in the hospital, nearly dying, and is still in frail condition.

You’d think his wife’s near-death experience would have taught Ted a lesson about which information sources to trust. I certainly would have thought so, because the Ted I knew was an intelligent, kind, thoughtful man—until he boarded the Trump train. Abandon hope—and logic —all ye who enter here.

The Ted I knew was an intelligent, kind, thoughtful man—until he boarded the Trump train.

So, back to the report Ted shared. Here are some highlights:

*The claimed source: Several retired high-level military officers and … drum roll … Lin Wood. Yes, that Lin Wood, the crazy QAnon conspiracy theorist attorney who called for VP Pence’s death by firing squad.

*The 25,000 U.S. troops stationed in DC for the inauguration are ready for the signal from Trump to arrest Biden and Harris and return Trump to the White House.

*Troops have been stationed strategically at Democrat-controlled major cities to quell the violence of rioting liberals.

*Thanks to President Trump, our nation’s recently established Space Force is ready for a space-based cyber war with China and other countries.

*POTUS Trump is poised to invoke the Insurrection Act and declare martial law.

*China used COVID-19 as an instrument of biological warfare against us.

*The January 6 attack on the Capitol buildings was the work of ANTIFA and BLM, not loyal white nationalist Trump followers.

*Trump and his followers will exterminate the "deep-state" child sex-trafficking cabal.

So, rip off those masks, re-open your businesses, go to church, and defy the dastardly deep-state authorities.

It’s easy for rational people to laugh at these crazy and often contradictory claims. But millions of Americans take them seriously. This nation faces a very real threat. The crazies may make up only 20 to 30 percent of the population, but apart from the military and law enforcement agencies, they likely own 80 to 90 percent of the nation's firearms and ammunition. And they fervently believe the crazy stuff listed above.

The approaching U.S. civil war will not be north versus south, or any region against another. It will be unarmed rationals versus armed-to-the teeth irrationals.

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