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Genuine Listening: Pathetic Capitulation or Harmonizing Humility?



Death is the ultimate issue that divides Americans. Calm, genuine discourse is the path to a reconciliation. Stubborn certitude is the odious trait that prevents a reconciliation. “I know I’m right; there’s no need for further discussion on the matter.”


Liberals are adamant that abortion is a fundamental right that must be protected and preserved. They are equally resolute in declaring gun violence to be our nation’s greatest moral failing.


Conversely, conservatives are unyielding in their assertion that abortion is our greatest collective moral failing while insisting that gun ownership is a fundamental right that must be protected and preserved.


Generally, feelings about abortion and gun rights are so firmly fixed in hearts and minds that neither side sees any point in discussing the matter with the other side. Backing down, even a smidgen, to view a contentious issue from a different perspective is, too often, judged to be pathetic capitulation. Is it? Or was former President George H.W. bush correct when he said, “Don't confuse being soft with seeing the other guy's point of view.”


While purists on both sides cling to their beliefs, each year nearly 900,000 American babies are aborted and more than 45,000 Americans are killed by gun violence. That’s nearly 1 million lives lost while too many of those still living refuse to consider the claims of those who oppose them.


I will not attempt here to argue for the legitimacy of either side on either issue (although I have my strongly held views on the matters). My concern is with the unconditional intransigence of both sides. If each side would be willing to back off from its obstinacy, even just a bit, and listen to the concerns of the other side, perhaps some lives might be saved.


Sadly, I can’t picture that happening anytime soon. I’m an old man with perhaps 20 years of life remaining. In a relatively short time, death will take me. With each passing day now, I become more aware of my mortality. I will die. Each of us will die. Death cannot be eluded. Despite its cruel certainty, death—not other humans—is still our greatest enemy. We won't defeat death. We have no choice but to accept its inevitability. But the truly dangerous capitulation is not to considering a different viewpoint. The most dangerous capitulation is to quit fighting for life.


So, by all that is good and sacred, can we please talk to one another, civilly, about these two interrelated issues that so decisively divide us? Can we please, even for a moment, see the other guy’s point of view? Can we genuinely listen?

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